It’s the truth. It could just be a funk, a phase, something to work through. But as of this moment, they suck. It’s all bad. I barely want to even talk about it. But the mission is to write one of these for every game. So, well, here you go.

Joe Kelly sucked: Three terrible innings (3.0 IP, 7 walks, 3 hits, 5 ER), two easy ones, and a 6th inning he was navigating pretty successfully before getting replaced with Matt Barnes, who quickly made sure that the runner Kelly left on first would count against his ERA.

Allen Craig sucked (sorry, did I say sucked?) sucks: Another 0-fer. Add it to the list. I liked the part of the game when Don Orsillo tried to tell us that Craig has gone 260 games or something without making an error. Listen Don, you’re great, but a. that’s not that impressive for an outfielder and b. who cares? I’d gladly trade an error now and then for a guy who could at least hit above the Mendoza line.

To be fair, he was robbed of a weird bloop that went over Donaldson’s head and into the waiting glove of shortstop Ryan Goins. Either way, when your best at-bat of the night is a 1-out broken bat failure with men on 2nd and 3rd, and your other three appearances are strikeouts…well, it’s just a pretty grim state of affairs.

Blake Swihart (has) sucked: I want to believe. I really do. But except for a relative propensity for working his at-bats to deep counts, he really hasn’t done a whole lot. He’s 2-22 since being called up, and one of those hits was an infield miracle. And the pitchers certainly haven’t improved with his arrival either.

Mike Napoli sucks: A first-pitch-swinging double the opposite way notwithstanding (better lucky than good sometimes, right?), he looked no less lost than he has all season. It’s really a toss-up as to whether he’s gonna find his bat again. If I were a betting man, I’m not sure I’d count on it.

Hanley Ramirez sucked is hurt: Okay, I guess he gets a free pass. But he’s definitely not 100%, and he’s gimping around out there. It’s embarrassing.

We weren’t very lucky. That sucked: In addition to Craig’s would-be short bloop single, Ortiz also came up short (or, I guess, a little long?) on a bloop to left.

The team sucks: And at least it seems like everyone knows it. The team called a players-only meeting after yesterday’s loss, so at least they’re doing SOMETHING. And Jackie Bradley, Jr. is on his way up to Toronto from Pawtucket. Supposedly, Craig’s getting sent down in his place. So at least we’re not standing still. Also, Mujica was traded, for a player to be named later OR cash considerations. I think that speaks volumes.

Okay, that’s enough of that. Let’s move on. Happy Mother’s Day!