Your intrepid reporter has rolled out of bed to write this, and I hope our surely-huge-by-now fanbase appreciates that. Last night, the Red Sox won a baseball game. Their second in a row, in fact. The last time Boston won at least two consecutive games was a four-game streak from July 5-8. It’s been a pretty tough stretch, but now we’ve come out the other side and the team will make a big turnaround and win the pennant and all of our estranged fathers will agree to live with us. It’s good to know that things are gonna be all right again.

Why am I so sure? Oh, I don’t know, because of a little trade you might’ve heard about that brought in former All-Star Ryan Cook, NO BIG DEAL. In all seriousness, though, I don’t think I’m going that far out on a limb in thinking that Cook’s 2015 results so far (10.38 ERA, 2.31 WHIP, 6.2 K/9) are probably not indicative of his current level of play. He only faced 23 batters at the major league level before being sent down to AAA, where he’s been better, though perhaps not remarkably better (4.05 ERA, 1.38 WHIP, 7.0 K/9). His issues are probably indicative of some 2014 injuries (shoulder inflammation, forearm strain). Yes, he’s dropped off from where he was from 2012-14, but he’s not complete garbage. I hope. Either way, we got him for a ham sandwich/washing machine, so it’s worth a shot.

Last night, the Red Sox did what they love to do recently, and that’s ALLOW THE OTHER TEAM TO SCORE FIRST. It’s a bold strategy, but it worked out for them last night. The Rays got their first run after Eduardo Rodriguez (who had neither his best stuff nor his worst) loaded the bases with 1 out. Joey Butler grounded into what might’ve been an inning-ending double play, but Brock Holt and Xander Bogaerts couldn’t turn it in time, and Brandon Guyer scored from third to make it 1-0.

However, in keeping with another, more positive Red Sox trend, the offense responded to a deficit! Both Bogaerts and David Ortiz got aboard thanks to infield errors and Mike Napoli walked to load the bases with one out. Both Alejandro De Aza and Blake Swihart managed to register base hits, bringing in 3 runs between them, to make it 3-1.

Rodriguez gave a run back in the top of the 2nd, but it was kind of a tough break. With two outs and a runner on second (center fielder Mikie Mahtook, who’d doubled) Rodriguez struck Brandon Guyer out, but the pitch was in the dirt and got away from Swihart. Guyer was easily safe at first and Mahtook advanced to third. Mahtook scored on a Steven Souza, Jr. chopper to the left side that newcomer Josh Rutledge did his best to field, but there was nothing to be done. 3-2, Boston. Mahtook would also single in Asdrubal Cabrera in the top of the 3rd to tie the game at 3.

The score would remain tied until the bottom of the 5th, when De Aza came through with his second RBI single of the night, driving in Brock Holt to make it 4-3.

Eduardo Rodriguez, having thrown 110 pitches through 5 innings, was removed in favor of Alexi Ogando for the 6th inning. Alexi did a fine job, allowing only an infield single, but Robbie Ross, Jr. ran into trouble in the top of the 7th. He walked Joey Butler to start the inning and hit Mahtook with two outs. Farrell brought in Junichi Tazawa to put out the fire. I’d like to see a split of Tazawa’s stats between when he gets his own fresh inning to work with and when he has to clean up someone else’s mess. I’m not sure he really excels in the firefighter role, and last night’s performance backed up my hunch, as he allowed both Butler and Mahtook to score on a John Jaso double. He struck out Kevin Kiermaier to strand Jaso at third, but the damage was done and the Red Sox were losing 5-4.

Side note: Ross got a hold for his outing last night, which really has me questioning the statistical validity of the hold. I know, stats are stupid.

Fortunately for Tazawa, Big Papi drew an impressive 11-pitch, 2-out walk and Mike Napoli, only hours removed from sweating out the trade deadline, took a high fastball into the Monster seats to give Boston the lead, 6-5.

Tazawa also got himself into trouble in the top of the 8th, giving up two singles to start the inning, but eventually got Butler to ground into a double play to end the inning. Napoli made an incredible scoop on a one-hop Brock Holt throw to first to complete the play.

Blake Swihart gave Koji Uehara a little insurance in the bottom of the 8th, doubling with one out, advancing to third on a Jackie Bradley, Jr. groundout, and scoring on a wild pitch by Brandon Gomes.

Uehara walked Cabrera to start the 9th, but got the next two outs to bring up Rene Rivera, the Rays’ light-hitting everyday catcher. Uehara got two strikes to start the at-bat, then threw three consecutive balls. Rivera then fouled off six consecutive pitches before striking out swinging to end the game. 7-5, Red Sox.